A MARE NOT FORGOTTEN -
A TRIBUTE TO CANDELARIA
A 21- Year old Arabian Mare owned by Judy Hancock
By Terry Hancock
It's 2:30 am here.. I've been to bed.. and that didn't work.. so I just
came back in from the barn. I fed her two apples, hugged her.. and cried.
I have thought now for many months that I could do this pretty easily.
I was wrong. I have seen her pain, the way she has difficulty when walking
right after she gets up from laying down, and her moments of just laying
down.. to keep from having to carry her own weight on her feet. It's been
such a roller coaster ride during the past two years. From moments like
I described above to moments of her trotting around her small paddock
area wanting to be out with the other horses in the pasture. She was a
grass horse. Loved to graze. Yet, during the past two years, we couldn't
allow that. The vets and farrier, told us NOT to let her out. Yet, yes,
we cheated. Her bright eyes... still today, and the way she would "talk"
to you, would be like begging for 30 minutes of grass time. So, from time
to time.. we would put her in small areas with grass and watch her while
she ate, almost never taking time to lift her head. She was happy. Small
moments of happiness. That's all we could give her. The rest was watching
her eat hay and her grain.. and of course always her carrots. The gleam
in her eye would "sparkle" every time she simply heard the "crack" of
a breaking carrot. She would bow her neck, turn her ears forward and manage
careful steps toward her stall door.. looking for the carrot she knew
was there. It was but for a brief few seconds, she felt no pain at all,
like she was instantly healed. Yet I always knew, that I would run out
of carrots, and when she was sure I had, she would again, instantly begin
to shift back and forth, alternating her weight from one front foot to
the other, to give herself brief moments of relief. Yet, we seemed to
continue this roller coaster ride, day by day. Trying anything that the
market had to offer, looking for the miracle cure. There were good days.
There were also, some very bad days. I will admit, that there were even
times when I thought we had it beat. New hoof growth, that looked so healthy
and strong. Little did I realize at the time that months later, I would
watch it rot and crumble like the previous hoof that was in it's place
before. Laminitis is an awful disease. Days of soaking, Iodine, "bute"
pain killers twice a day, cleaning out her hooves to keep out the germs,
fighting infection, taping, wrapping, and then soaking again. Those days
will soon be over. Her time has come. Her pain will soon end. Her heart
will stop. You see, I think that when a person rides a horse.. it is certainly
a privilege. Most horses weigh over 1000 pounds. It only stands to reason,
that if an animal of that size and strength didn't want you to ride, you
wouldn't. So, it is your privilege to be able to ride upon their back.
They obviously like it, or otherwise would never give you the chance.
She was a special ride. She could ride endurance.. 12 miles without stopping.
Then, she could let a 6 year old child ride her in a ring... so they (the
child) could learn how to ride. Even if the child were to fall off, she
would immediately come to a complete stop. One must realize that when
they ride a horse enough times that it's much like a wonderful marriage.
They become one. Each knows what the other needs and wants and each one
of them will do everything in their power to provide it for the other.
But this mare is special. I never rode her, that when the ride was over,
whether it was long or short, and I got off, she would always, look around
at me and give a little "snicker", as to say "Gee, that was fun." But
she would always "talk". Even last night as I was cleaning, medicating,
and wrapping her sore feet, it was all I could do to hold one up, as she
was in such pain to have to put all of her weight on the other foot. Yet,
as I finished, she turned and gave me that little "snicker" as to say
"Thank you, that feels better." In two more days, the vet will come. He
was just here tonight and told us that it was time. He said that her quality
of life was no more. Everything beyond today, was for us.. not her. So
in two days, I will put her halter on her and lead her out of her stall
for the last time. She will walk tenderly, step by step, keeping her rear
feet way under herself to support most of her weight. She has learned
to carry herself that way, during her times of great pain. I wonder at
this moment, if I will give her a double dose of pain killers that morning
to help her walk naturally to her death? Will I be able to look into her
eyes? Will she know, that it's her final walk? At what point will she
realize that I'm not taking her to her little grass patch? Will I begin
to doubt our decision? Will I see her walking almost normally and begin
to have the false hopes that we have dealt with during the past two years?
Today, I don't know the answers to these questions. I do know that I will
love on her. I will tell her that I love her. I will feed her a few carrots
and some apples. I will get to hear her last "snicker" and "Thank you".
I will remember all the good times. I will never forget her. I will see
her take her last breath. I will know her pain is finally gone. I will
miss her. And I will know that we made the right decision.
I read this story with tears in my eyes...knowing
that my dear sweet First Prediction was starting to look poor. At home
she had always managed to get along with her founder problems and I had
vowed that when she was no longer able to eat and be comfortable I would
relieve her from her pain. At home she could go into the lake and float
when she wanted the weight off her feet. She started to lay down much
more and even with abundant food she was not keeping her weight. I went
out and looked at her one day and I thought...my goodness...she looks
so poor! I loaded her in the trailer and took her to Gainesville to see
if there was something that would give her relief from her feet that were
constantly abcessing. On the way to the hospital, as I looked out my rear
view mirror at my trailer, I saw her peek out her head and let the wind
ruffle her mane...she loved to ride in the trailer. We had done over a
hundred trips to the races together and she ran soundly in every one.
I know she enjoyed the ride. It tugged at my heart to think that it was
a high fever and a virus that crippled this noble mare and foundered her.
She had recovered from the first bout of founder but had another relapse
that she was never able to overcome. One look at the x-rays that showed
no bone left in her foot. The Vet, Doctor Ethell, said he didn't know
how she was even walking at all. I was truly horrified when I saw how
deteriorated her hoofs were. She was indeed walking on pure heart. After
saying good-bye to her and asking her forgiveness for the suffering she
must have had the last month or so, she was put down. My heart is heavy
when I remember she is no longer in her pasture on the lake. You know
why horses are considered so Noble? It's because they don't scream or
complain-they just carry on. First Prediction's feet don't hurt any more.
Editor